Dog Names

When I first started seeing my wife she had a dog with the exact same name as me which is Ralph. (Why people give dog's people names I'm not sure?) When ever she called out our name we would both come running. It caused a lot of confusion. She decided to clear up the confusion by renaming one of us and it was me she renamed. She decided to call me 'Lucky'.

The first time I met my wife was in a casino in Atlantic City. I sat down beside her at a Black Jack table and the moment I sat down she started winning big. From that point on she considered me lucky for her and her pet name for me became 'Lucky'.

The only problem with that is that the name 'Lucky' is more of a dog name than a person name. I thought she should have renamed the dog and called him 'Lucky' and let me keep my real name. But, she didn't see it that way. She's a quirky lady but I love her.

Anyhow, after about a month of calling me 'Lucky' I noticed the dimensions of our relationship were changing. Not only between myself and my future wife but between myself and the dog.

Every time my wife called out the name 'Lucky' I would come running. And the dog would look at me strangely. Almost as if the dog was wondering - what in the heck is a human doing with a dog name?

Not only that but I could have sworn that the dog was sneering and laughing at me. Soon the dog stopped obeying me and began treating me indifferently like I wasn't its master but just another household pet.

It was around this time that I noticed I really enjoyed having me ears scratched by my wife. I would cuddle up with her on the sofa and put my head in her lap and she would gently scratch the backs of my ears.

Then one day we were out taking a walk and we decided to cut through a park. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a squirrel near a tree and for some uncontrollable reason I took off and started chasing it.

It was at this point that I realized I needed help.

I went through months and months of therapy but to no avail. Until one day Ralph the dog got very ill. He came down with a rare kidney disease and we had to put him to sleep. After that things went back to normal with my wife once again calling me Ralph.

I no longer had urges to do dog things. I became my old self again. But I often wonder what would have happened if Ralph the dog had never got sick and my wife continued to call me 'Lucky'?

(c) All rights reserved.

By Ralph Cramdin